i'm starting to think i should make a shirt about computers..

i would have thought computers were the most unemotional things, until i became a programmer this quarter. well it's not really them themselves that are emotional, but that interacting with my computer can make me susceptible to every possible human emotion, from confusion, depression and anxiety to effervescent joy, laughter and smiles. and all that lies in between that's not so clear cut or easy to sum up in little words.
i am learning to be calmer. i have started wearing a wrist brace.it is scary that i do this so much it's starting to have an affect on my body. i wish i could program by moving. by dancing-- pirouettes for for loops, arabesques to call functions. i would be way less likeley to have my wrists hurt if i did that. i have been working on code nonstop since about 12 today, only stopping to eat once (the other meals were at my computer), and now it is 4 am. i am starting to feel a bit crazy but i am also learning. learning so much and having so much help by pure coincidence. and figuring things out on my own. for the first time in my life, this week i was able to write code that worked. just write it. not have to ask why isn't this working. just write. and it works! what a great feeling. i dont know why it's taken me this long.

I speak computer!

i feel like i must feel how babies do the first time they take their first steps. or maybe how i felt the first time i took mine. who knows, we don't remember anyway.
i was able to speak to my computer today. i got through it's cold hearted, hard-headed skull and was able to communicate. and what a wonderful conversation it was.
it took me three hours to figure out what i was saying wrong, but once i figured it out it was the easiest, most clear communication i have probably ever made.

i'm starting to prefer computer communication. if only humans were this simple.